GetYourGoodNews/ConnieWilson

"Welcome to Paris, Baby." So says John Travolta in "From Paris with Love,"
while wearing a baseball cap atop his shaved head, a baseball cap bearing the
message (in back) "I 'heart' Paris."

Travolta may love Paris, and I may love his co-star, Jonathan Rhys Meyers
(late of Showtime's "The Tudors" as a hunky young Henry VIII),
but I did not 'heart' this movie. It is a never-ending series of fight
sequences and car chases glorifying violence. The fight sequences in this
movie make "violence for the sake of violence" into an unadulterated
non-stop orgy of Ugly American-ism.

John Travolta plays Charlie Wax, an undercover operative for the U.S. government
who is sent to Paris, where he will team up with Jonathan Rhys Meyers, playing
James Reece, the personal aide to Ambassador Bennington (Richard Durden).
There, the two will pursue terrorists.

From the moment we see Charlie Wax (John Travolta), he is large and in charge.
He is loud, abrasive, aggressive, profane and always seems to be in possession
of important plot points that the more civilized Reece (Jonathan Rhys Meyers)
neither has nor suspects. The audience is seldom, if ever, clued in regarding any
plot points. the movie is the kind of violent fandango where it almost doesn't
matter. Who needs a plot if you have lots of shootings, cool profanity, heavy-duty
firepower, and lots of car chases? The plot would just get in the way and would
take way too much time to tie together, so let's just shoot a few more bad guys.

Written by Luc Besson and Adi Hasad, the film was directed by Pierre Morel. Luc
Besson ("The Fifth Element," "La Femme Nikita") served as President of the 2000
Cannes Film Festival Jury. He is known for very distinctive car chase sequences,
often shot from a low camera angle, and, in that respect, "From Paris with Love"
continues that tradition (even though Besson is not, technically, directing his
script). [Paris police arrested Luc Besson on June 4 of 2002 and investigated his
culpability involving a potential manslaughter charge, after a cameraman was
killed during the filming of "Taxi" in 1999.]

Travolta has said, while appearing on "The View", that he did all his own stunts,
but I seriously doubt that it is Travolta that we see hanging out of the window of a
pursuing vehicle, juggling an industrial strength bazooka while trying to get a clear
shot at a speeding car full of bad guys. Or, in this case, one bad guy and one bad
girl, misguided terrorist zealots who hope to disrupt a US African Aid summit
taking place in Paris.

Besson has said, (www.imdb.com interview excerpt), "I was never polluted by the
world of cinema. I didn't even have a TV until I was 16...I never went to the
cinematheque. I didn't know much about the masters of world cinema." This
relative ignorance of the work of other masters of film occurred because Besson's
parents, scuba-diving instructors, led a somewhat nomadic existence taking the
young Luc from Greece to Bulgaria to then-Yugoslavia.

It is surprising, given Besson's claim of a lack of influence from other directors,
that so much of "From Paris with Love" seems derivative of John Woo's stylized
violent fights, shoot-outs and beat-downs. In one scene, Travolta takes on six
Asians in a street gang and then says, "Now tell me that wasn't some impressive
s***."

I agree with the noun in that sentence, just not with the adjective. This movie
plays out with lines like, "God, I love the French" (an oh-so-cool utterance from
the Ambassador when he learns that the Foreign Minister has been "banging both
secretaries, the blonde and the brunette.")

There's an excess of violence, bad language and cutesy lines like that one in this
movie. Even in the opening sequence, Travolta says (of his attempts to bring in an
energy drink within a metal can that French customs is seeking to ban), "I just
like sticking it to the self-righteous little m************."

First stop in Paris for Reece and Charlie is a Chinese restaurant with the name Le
Lotus des Neiges. (The Lotus of the Snows). A fitting name, since, during an
improbable shoot-out inside the restaurant, cocaine is found hidden in the ceiling
and rains down on the duo like snow. Travolta's now-partner, Jonathan Rhys
Meyer---who has been called in to assist Charlie Wax (Travolta) on very short
notice, is told to gather some of the blow and place it inside a large restaurant
vase. Throughout most of the rest of the movie, Reece's character will be hauling
this large blue-and-white vase around with him, which makes no sense at all.
Why not leave the vase in the car?

Another completely off-the-wall plot twist has Charlie suddenly announce, "It's
never been about the coke. It's about terrorists." Oh. We, (the audience), missed
out on that important plot segue, just as we will miss out on several other
important plot segues, primarily because they aren't in the script.

At various points there are attempts to "humanize" Travolta's character by
including the "Pulp Fiction" bit of trivia that he has a passion for McDonald's
Quarter-Pounder with cheese, known as a Royale with cheese in Paris, as we all
remember from Quentin Tarantino's film. Charlie, however, undermines every
attempt to make him seen like a less horrible and bloodthirsty human being.

Charlie uses politically incorrect terms like "raghead." He kills roughly one "bad
guy" an hour over a 26-hour period. Bodies fall down circular stairways. Bodies fall
through windows. Bodies are pumped full of bullets. Charlie shows no remorse.
There are never any repercussions to his killing sprees. He never gets hurt.

Eventually, Charlie begins to convince his sidekick Reece that this total disregard
for human life is part of the job. There are even philosophical lines thrown in here
and there, scattered like so much bird seed (or bird s***) throughout the
incomprehensible plot. In one exchange between Reece and Charlie, Reece asks,
regarding the fight against terrorists, "What if it's never over? What if we can't
win?"

Charlie answers, "Why don't you ask the guy you shot," referring to the killing of a
terrorist that was part murder/part suicide. Charlie, of course, leads a charmed
life, and never sustains so much as a scratch, as is always the case in movies
that have a disconnect with reality. His partner, Jonathan Rhys Meyer, however,
is shot in the shoulder by his girlfriend.

Here are some lines I jotted down: "I can dig it, though. Brings me back to the
day." At one point, Travolta asks Rhys Meyer "Kirk or Spock?" Jonathan Rhys
Meyer answers "Uhuru." Charlie Wax made this observation about the state of
affairs today versus yesterday, "It was just as evil, but it is a lot less polite." (This
struck me as a true statement, one of the few in the film, in light of President
Obama's recent remarks about incivility at the National Prayer Breakfast on
February 4th.)

There are several scenes that attempt to portray the character of Reece as a
good guy. When Charlie Wax and James Reece leave a building where a door is
set to blow up should anyone try to enter it from the outside (just as cops are
arriving), Reece attempts to go back to warn the gendarmes of the danger.

Charlie says, "This isn't the time for a body count. It's too late."

Reece responds, "It's not too late for them." We also have Reece's speech about
love, when he tells his girlfriend, "That's all the sense any of us is ever going to
get---love." I'm not going to tell you what he does next. You wouldn't believe me if I
did. (No spoiler here.)

The entire movie was a mess. As Randy Jackson would say, "I didn't get it,
Dawg." In case you did not already figure this out, I did not love "From Paris with
Love."

PREVIOUS COLUMN: Fun, Flaky Elvis Facts

Elvis recently had a birthday (he turned 75) and I ignored his birthday, at the time,
just like I try to ignore my own birthdays.

A McCarthy newspaper writer named Valerie Kellogg wrote “75 Things You May
Not Know About Elvis” at the time of his birthday. Some of them amused me…not
all, but some. Plus, we recently visited Graceland in Memphis, so I decided to
throw out the less-interesting or more well-known “things you might not know”
about Elvis, insert a few of my own, and shorten Kellogg’s article to a mere fifty.
So here goes:

1) Elvis’ first 2 recorded songs cost him $4 at Sun Studios in Memphis, where he
recorded “My Happiness” and “That’s When Your Heartaches Begin” as a gift for
his mother, Gladys.
2) Elvis is Norse for “all wise.”
3) When he was 15 months old, Elvis almost died in a Tupelo, Mississippi
tornado, which would have meant that he would have joined his dead-at-birth twin
Aaron.
4) At age 1, Elvis enthusiastically joined an Assembly of God church service choir
in singing, wriggling away from his mother’s grasp to do so.
5) At age 10, Elvis placed fifth singing “Old Shep” at a children’s talent show,
thereby surpassing Michael Jordan, who got cut from one of his first basketball
teams.
6) Songs recorded: anywhere from 600 to 1,200. [With mixes like “A Little Less
Conversation” being released many years after his death, that number could
change.]
7) Sometimes, Elvis would sign “Elvis” on a female fan’s left breast and “Presley”
on the right. (There is no truth to the rumor that this gave rise to the term
“double-breasted.”)
8) Elvis’ maternal grandmother was Jewish, so Elvis added a Star of David to his
mother’s gravestone in the mid-sixties. (Since most of the family is buried out
back at Graceland in a weird circle that tourists visit, I assume it is this
tombstone. It is just a stone’s throw from the really small tea-cup-sized swimming
pool that looks like it belongs behind a Hampton Inn in St. Louis.)
9) Other ethnic derivation for Elvis Presley: Scottish, Irish, German, Welsh,
Cherokee Indian and French. (A little something for everyone.)
10) “Can’t Help Falling in Love”, a 1961 Presley hit, is set to the melody “Plaisir
D’Amour,” an 18th century French love song.
11) Presley hated fish. He wouldn’t allow Priscilla to eat fish at Graceland. We all
know he loved fatty, deep-fried goodies, and he also loved biscuits and gravy,
potato/cheese soup and meatloaf with mushroom gravy. The dining room table at
Graceland, however, was not very large, (considering Elvis’ fame and fortune). It is
hard to imagine seating more than 11 or 12 comfortably in the cramped dining
room. The room isn’t big enough and the table isn’t big enough.
12) Presley preferred sponge baths.
13) Presley worked as an usher at Lowe’s State movie theater in Memphis. He
was fired when he was discovered taking free candy from the girl working the
concession stand.
14) Presley was honored, while in the Army, by his commanding officers for
“cheerfulness and drive and continually outstanding leadership ability.”
15) Germans called Presley “the rock-and-roll matador.”
16) Elvis smoked thin German cigars.
17) Elvis’ big disappointment while in Germany in the Army? He never got to meet
Brigitte Bardot. (I think we can all relate to that.)
18) Presley’s movie idol? Tony Curtis.
19) Hair dye used? Miss Clairol 51D, “Black Velvet” and “mink brown” by
Paramount, to make his hair look black onscreen in movies. He once dyed his
hair with black shoe polish in his do-it-yourself days. He also dyed his eyelashes,
which caused him health problems later in life. (Good thing he didn’t EAT the
dye).
20) In 1956, Elvis made “Love Me Tender” and in 1957, he did “Loving You.” In the
hiatus between filming these two epics, he had plastic surgery on his nose, had
his teeth capped, and had his acne professionally treated.
21) Elvis dated Natalie Wood, but only for a very brief period. He said he didn’t
like the way she smelled. (No report on what Natalie Wood thought of the
sponge-bathing Elvis’ scent.)
22) “Unchained Melody” was a song he only performed during the last 6 months of
his life.
23) Unverified reports claim Elvis’ range spanned three octaves, but unverified
reports of the day also said that the Colonel (Tom Parker) would have another
singer interpret the song while Elvis listened and then Elvis would record the song
after hearing it sung by someone else. It is also true that Elvis never did a World
Tour, which was because of legal problems that Colonel Tom Parker, his
dictatorial manager, faced in travel outside the country. (The Colonel had passport
problems.)
24) Presley had a slight stutter.
25) Elvis used A&D ointment to keep his lips soft.
26) Elvis recorded 15 songs with the word “blue” in the title.
27) Some strangely titled Elvis songs include: “Queenie Wahini’s Papaya,” “Yoga
Is as Yoga Does,” “There’s No Room to Rhumba in a Sports Car.”
28) Elvis began using “Also Sprach Zarathustra,” a 19th century Strauss tone
poem and theme of the 1968 movie “2001: A Space Odyssey” because he liked
its rhythm and movements.
29) UK viewers couldn’t see Elvis much-vaunted TV special “Aloha from Hawaii”
because the BBC refused to pay the price for the 1972 concert.
30) Presley and the Beatles met at his BelAir, California house in 1965, after
Colonel Tom Parker forced Elvis to invite the Fab Five over. That same year, Elvis
talked about joining a monastery. No word on whether he discussed entering a
monastery before or after meeting the Beatles, who ended his reign as undisputed
King of Rock ‘n Roll.
31) Presley met Brian Wilson of the Beach Boys in 1975 but Wilson says that
the meeting went badly. Wilson made an unexpected karate move on Presley,
after Presley had asked him specifically not to do so. (I now understand why
Brian Wilson spent so many years alone “in his room”).
32) When Presley met Richard Nixon in 1970, Tricky Dick said: “You dress kind
of strange, don’t you? Elvis replied, “Well, Mr. President, you got your show, and I
got mine.” We didn’t find out the extent of Nixon’s “show” until Watergate, but it’s
not hard to imagine Elvis drawling that statement to Nixon.
33) The Washington Post broke the news of that secret meeting between Nixon
and Presley. [I think we’ve all heard the stories of Presley’s fascination with law
and law enforcement, his desire to be named a ‘special agent,’ etc.]
34) When Presley met Muhammad Ali, he gifted the boxer with a robe that said
“The People’s Champion.” Ali, for his part, gave Presley boxing gloves that said,
“You’re the greatest.” [This surprises and confuses me. I thought Ali was “the
greatest?” The two probably should have traded gifts.]
35) Once, after receiving a kidnap/assassination threat, Elvis performed with a
pistol in each boot.
36) In the early 1970’s, Presley would impersonate a police officer and pull people
over and hand out autographs. He had purchased police equipment for his 36th
birthday.
37) Some members of the Memphis Mafia called Presley “Crazy.” He turned down
the opportunity to play Kris Kristofferson’s role in “A Star Is Born” opposite Barbra
Streisand, because the Colonel wouldn’t let him take the part. The chance was a
career-making comeback opportunity, and ex-wife Priscilla urged him to take the
role. Now THAT was “crazy.” What was NOT crazy was the way Priscila turned
Graceland into a moneymaker after Elvis’ death.
38) Once, while showing a woman a karate move in his Las Vegas hotel suite, he
broke her ankle. (Sounds like an instant replay of the Brian Wilson bad meeting.)
39) In Chinese astrology, Presley’s sign was “the dog.”
40) Four psychics told actor Patrick Swayze that Elvis was his guardian angel. If
so, Elvis didn’t do a very good job of watching over the recently deceased actor,
who died too young of pancreatic cancer.
41) The year before he died, Presley was prescribed about 10,000 pills. (I wonder
what the count against Michael Jackson’s final year would be: which would score
highest?)
42) When Presley played Madison Square Garden in 1972, he rented the New
York Hilton’s top floor.
43) Presley’s pet turtle’s name was Bowtie.
44) Other Presley pets: a basset hound, 2 Great Danes, a Pomeranian, several
horses, some donkeys, some peacocks and guinea hens, ducks, chickens, a
chimpanzee, a monkey and a mynah bird. His golden palomino, Rising Sun, is
buried at Graceland, along with his parents, his grandmother and his twin brother
who died at birth.
45) Presley’s pet chimp, Scatter, is thought to have died of liver disease, since
the chimp had developed a drinking problem. Some think a maid, whom he had
bitten, poisoned the chimp. (Wonder whatever happened to Bubbles, Michael
Jackson’s chimp?)
46) Presley believed he would die in his forties like his mother, Gladys.
47) Presley had a strange “Madonna/whore” fixation. According to Priscilla
Presley’s autobiography, once she gave birth to Lisa Marie, he no longer
considered her sexually desirable because she was the mother of his only child.
Presley did have a longstanding attraction to co-star Ann Margret, though, and
always sent her a large floral tribute whenever she opened in Vegas.
48) When Elvis was alive, there were about 170 Presley impersonators (1977).
Today, it is estimated that there are around 250,000.
49) Presley had one room of his Graceland mansion (the house that grew like
Topsy and has many wings that were added to the sprawling structure)
completely carpeted in shag carpeting and sometimes recorded there. The Jungle
Room, a strange futuristic circular bed with fake fur: many “Elvis’ taste was all in
his mouth” moments while touring Graceland.
50) Elvis’ last words (to his girlfriend Ginger Alden, who had cautioned him
against falling asleep reading in the bathroom) were; “Okay, I won’t.”

`Up In The Air' sure Oscar bait

"Up in the Air," a Jason Reitman-directed (and written, with assistance from Sheldon Turner) film
stands a great chance of being named this year's Best Film of the Year. It's definitely a
front-runner and will (no doubt) duke it out with the likes of "Precious," "The Hurt Locker,"
"Avatar" and "Up in the Air."

I had the feeling, as I watched the movie, that without George Clooney in the pivotal role of the
commitment-phobic Ryan Bingham, who travels the United States terminating people from their
jobs and accumulating frequent flyer miles (his goal is 10 million miles), this movie would not be
nearly as strong. Clooney's reputation as a ladies' man helps us to accept him in the role and aids
the film immensely. I also had the feeling that Clooney's expert light comedy touch might go
unrewarded, again, just as Woody Allen's comic film masterpieces did for so many years, (until
"Annie Hall.") [Personally, I would have given Clooney the Oscar for his performance in 2007's
"Michael Clayton," portraying the title character.]

While "Precious" has Oprah in its corner, and "Invictus" has Clint Eastwood in its, Jason Reitman's
film, based on the novel by Walter Kirn, has both Clooney (a formidable asset), and the fact that
unemployment in this country has reached levels not seen since the Great Depression. Lay-offs
are as common as crab grass, but far more devastating. With the horrible economic conditions
abroad in the land and unemployment rates of 10% becoming routine, the film capitalizes on the
nation's preoccupation with losing one's job.

PREVIOUS COLUMN:
The 10 worst actor / actress pairings

It is going to become painfully obvious that I have spent waaay too much time in a darkened
theater as I share with you some horrible screen pairings it has been my misfortune to suffer
through, first as an avid filmgoer since birth and second, as a film critic for 15 years. These are in
no particular order, and the reasons I feel these were horrible pairings are subjective, to be sure,
but let me begin.

In no particular order, the films are:
1) "The Human Stain" - Anthony Hopkins and Nicole Kidman
2) "Eyes Wide Shut" - Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman
3) "Dracula" - Gary Oldman and Winona Ryder
4) "Harold and Maude" - Ruth Gordon and Bud Cort
5) "The Way We Were" - Robert Redford and Barbra Streisand
6) "The Sailor Who Fell from Grace with the Sea" - Kris Kristofferson and Sarah Miles
7) "6 Days, 7 Nights" - Harrison Ford and Anne Heche
8) "Fair Game" - Billy Baldwin and Cindy Crawford
9) "A Star Is Born" - Barbra Streisand and Kris Kristofferson
10) "At Long Last Love" - Cybill Shpeherd and Burt Reynolds

Let me explain.

There are some very great actors/actresses on this list who, nevertheless, had absolutely no
onscreen chemistry with their leading man or leading lady. Sometimes, I fear, it is because that
actor (or actress) is simply better suited to character actor parts. Other times, it is quite
surprising, because the individuals in question were actually "an item."

Take Nicole Kidman on this list, for example. I have listed her starring role in Stanley Kubrick's last
complete film, "Eyes Wide Shut," where she starred opposite her then husband Tom Cruise as
Alice Hartford (1999). I have also listed her opposite the much-too-old-for-her Anthony Hopkins in
her role as the semi-literate Faunia Farley, opposite Anthony Hopkins' Coleman Silk in "The Human
Stain," a 2003 Robert Benton-directed film (script by Nick Meyer, an old college classmate) based
on a 2000 Philip Roth novel. Casting Anthony Hopkins as a (secretly) black man and Nicole Kidman
as a cleaning woman (semi-literate, as well) was just the beginning of this film that garnered
some "rotten tomato" awards. It was as thoroughly miscast as it is humanly possible to be, and
the premises upon which the film rested were also dated. (Coleman is railroaded from his job as a
university professor for asking, of some MIA African-American students, in his class, if they
were "spooks.") The idea that Welshman Hopkins is secretly black was hard to swallow. (The
younger version of Hopkins was well-played by "Prison Break's" Wentworth Miller, but even that
did not help.) But Nicole was also bad opposite Tom Cruise as Shannon Christie in the 1992 epic
"Far and Away" and even before that, in "Days of Thunder" in 1990. Let's face it. While Nicole
Kidman (and certainly Anthony Hopkins) are great actors, everyone has their limits, and when
you're miscast, you're miscast. Since three of these films involve Kidman opposite Tom Cruise, it
would seem that they were a mismatch in more ways than one. No onscreen chemistry. Zip.
Zero. Nada.

Second-highest scorer on the "no charisma as sexy lead player in a romance" might go to Gary
Oldman, who is a very competent character actor but lacks in the romance department. Following
Frank Langella's mesmerizing role as "Dracula," he was very disappointing opposite Winona
Ryder in that Francis Ford Coppola film, and he wasn't much better in "The Scarlet Letter" (1995)
opposite Demi Moore as the Reverend Arthur Dimmesdale, nor in the film "Romeo Is Bleeding"
(1993) as Jack, opposite the sexy Lena Olin. Where Oldman shines is in work such as his
spot-on impersonation of Lee Harvey Oswald in Oliver Stone's 1991 film "JFK." As a romantic
leading man? Not so much.

Barbra Streisand makes the list twice, once opposite Kris Kristofferson in "A Star Is Born" and
once opposite Robert Redford in "The Way We Were." I blame the lack of "sparks" more on
Kristofferson in the first, a role that was first offered to (but turned down by) Elvis Presley.
Kristofferson has all the charismatic acting ability of a board. He reminds me of an old Keanu
Reeves. This is also by way of explaining why "The Sailor Who Fell from Grace with the Sea"
floundered and sank. More Kristofferson; less Sarah Miles. In "The Way We Were"
Streisand/Redford proved that the ugly duckling does not always grow up to become the beautiful
swan, and that the saying, "opposites attract" can only carry you so far. It only carried this movie
so far, despite Marvin Hamlisch's best efforts.

"Harold and Maude" is a cult classic, and I loved the flick, but the plot is about a romance between
a 20-year-old youth obsessed with death and suicide (Bud Cort) and a 79-year-old woman,
played by the indomitable Ruth Gordon. I'm all for cougars, but there are limits.

"6 Days, 7 Nights" was a plot that paired an aging Harrison Ford with Anne Heche, who, at the
time, was an 'out" lesbian. There were absolutely no sparks of any kind between the leads and
do we wonder why?

"Fair Game" had William Baldwin (the thin Baldwin) cast as Detective Max Kirkpatrick and model
Cindy Crawford of Dekalb, Illinois trying to segue successfully to the big screen from her lucrative
modeling career, playing Kate McQuean. The film is horrible, and Crawford was awful in it. It was
directed by Andrew Sipes; perhaps we can blame him, but I doubt it.

Last, and perhaps least, Burt Reynolds and Cybill Shepherd somehow got the idea that they could
sing and carry a musical in the much-maligned "At Long Last Love" and the less said about that,
the better.

I've gone quite far back in film annals to share my Worst 10 Onscreen Pairings with you. Next
time, I'm going for the "hottest" onscreen couples.Andrew Sipes; perhaps we can blame him, but I
doubt it.

Last, and perhaps least, Burt Reynolds and Cybill Shepherd somehow got the idea that they could
sing and carry a musical in the much-maligned "At Long Last Love" and the less said about that,
the better.

I've gone quite far back in film annals to share my Worst 10 Onscreen Pairings with you. Next
time, I'm going for the "hottest" onscreen couples.

copyright 2009 Connie Wilson / for GetYourGoodNews.Com